05-11-2017 by Freddie del Curatolo
The scaremongering election bogeyman, confined to terrorism on the Somali border, with new treatments for malaria and its vaccine on the doorstep, how can people be frightened a little to avoid coming to Kenya?
One of the arguments we can use is the fear of snakes.
To be honest, now in the places most frequented by tourists, therefore the coast and the savannah, it is easier to meet an old English teetotalon than a poisonous reptilian, but in the collective imagination Kenya is a land of mamba and pitfalls that come from bush, coral soils and river marshes.
Fortunately, in Malindi and its surroundings there are no creeping snakes of the eastern or South American forests: there are not the terrible "Boa Constrictor", able to creep little by little the bones, but where the Italians abound there is the species of "Boy Constructor", able to squeeze your wallet building the villa of your dreams. Closer to the waterfront, there are plenty of "Beach Boa Contactors" able to strip cogl... ehm the intimate parts.
No pythons six meters long (maximum 35 centimeter tools that animate another type of tourism, purely feminine), no cobra murderers and other monstrous species.
Here fear can be evoked by specimens of the vipers' family (no, not the Italian fork tongues' famigghia) and by their names, which can arouse great fear.
The most famous and lethal is the Black Mamba called "Settepassi", which has the ability to jump on your chest and hit you so close to the heart that you will only have a few meters at your disposal, before falling to the ground without life. It is, however, an endangered species, replaced in Kenya by the "Black Berry" also called "Seven Messaggini", capable of poisoning chattandoarvi.
Then comes the Green Mamba called "Settesassi", because it doesn't hurt a lot and its venom is slow and has common antidotes, but it is very resistant and it takes several pietades in the head, before killing it.
The Blue Mamba known as "Trepassi" is rarer, because when you meet him (usually close to the sea) he is more afraid of you and begins to stage a sort of figured tango, and dancing tries to avoid you. But as you also try to do the same, after the famous three steps of a surreal ballet, one of the two will have the worst. It is also called "Blue Mambo".
Few people know the Yellow Mamba called "Quattrosalti", because in addition to being a snake rasta bonaccione that you can meet in the bathrooms of bars or discotheques, it is also excellent cooked in a pan as the sausage, with side dishes of chips.
It is not uncommon to meet the transparent strip called "Duepalle", because although it does not have poison or bad intentions, it is always in the middle of the boxes and you can't easily see it and you can stumble.
And finally, there is the most frightening and terrifying of all: the Brown Mamba, called "Unascorreggia". It's so called because it's so frightening that when you find it in front of you you won't even have the time to do it on your feet, before you die from fright.
It is a pity, because it is not poisonous at all.
In conclusion, stay calm tourists and don't be impressed: the most poisonous, slimy and blowing animals in Kenya are human beings, especially some white specimens.
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