Tales

IRONY

Afrisan, the only cure for African Saudade

The Mug sheet of the medicine created by Massimo Vita

15-06-2022 by Massimo Vita

There is a lot of talk about "African Sickness" syndrome, which unlike the so-called saudade, does not afflict hearts far from their motherland, but Westerners who part ways with the Dark Continent after one or more sojourns. It is commonly thought that, as heartbreaking and controversial as it is, it is a melancholically pleasurable disease that almost no one would want to eradicate, and it is said that "for the African sickness there is no cure."
We too talk about it every Wednesday on these spaces, but there are those who do not rest and, with the knowledge and experience they have, have created a medicine that can (perhaps) cure this syndrome!
Here's the mug sheet of Afrisan, the medicine devised by our reader Massimo Vita.
Read this sheet carefully before taking the medicine - Keep this sheet, you may need to read it again - If you have any doubts during your stay outside Africa, ask a friend by requesting a video call.

WHAT IS AFRISAN AND WHAT IS IT USED FOR?

AFRISAN is used to relieve the symptoms of MdAF (African Sickness) disease.
Particularly indicated for loss of tan, lack of appetite due to lobster deficiency, absence of taste especially when eating fruits and vegetables, allergy due to footwear, long pants and winter clothing, loss of spontaneous smiles and general zest for life.
Studies have found that AFRISAN also alleviates the more severe symptoms of the disease, such as falling in love with young strangers, loss of money due to unwarranted donations, and transient or permanent amnesia phenomena related to the existence of wives, husbands, children and other family members in Europe.

BEFORE TAKING AFRISAN

AFRISAN should never be taken before the onset of symptoms of MdAF clearly compatible with the specific disease. AFRISAN is by no means indicated in pregnant women and people who have recently undergone treatment such as marriage or cohabitation, as the drug's active ingredient may also cause undesirable effects such as desire to escape. The drug is indicated in the treatment of school-age children who have lost any interest in learning and in school in general.

HOW TO TAKE AFRISAN

AFRISAN should be taken at least once a year, for at least 15 days, during January-March. The positive effects of the treatment are also present during August, November and December, although lesser benefits have been found.
For best results, staying in places near the sea with savanna excursions of at least 3 days per treatment session is recommended.
In the most severe cases, the constant presence, 24 hours a day, of a local of different sex, preferably at least 25 years of age, with a sculpted physique, no work commitments, and skill in spreading sunscreen is required.
The drug has been shown to have greater effects when taken with very cold TUSKER beer, adequate portions of bluefin tuna tartare, barbecued "kuku," and fresh seasonal fruit (passion fruit can trigger "passion" effects during the hottest hours of the day.

UNDESIRABLE EFFECTS

AFRISAN can procure significant side effects especially in individuals who after years of treatment need multiple treatment sessions per year to enjoy its benefits.
Among the most frequent undesirable effects have been found to be: loss of employment in Italy, reduction in assets, loss of affections such as wives and husbands, loss of esteem from close family members, and creeping envy phenomena from less close friends and relatives.
The most disabling side effect, however, remains the unanticipated birth of "chocolates," which causes the mother (or father) and the entire tribe to take charge of them with a considerable increase in monthly operating costs, continuous requests for unconditional subsidies from unseen people.

COMPOSITION

Timboni powder extract, heat from Malindi's open market in April, essence of aged Taka Taka, small percentages of makuti ash from burnt villas.


NOTES:

MdAF remains an incurable disease at present and it is unlikely that a definitive cure will be found in the future. The main strains of the disease remain those identified by the famous American pathologist Hemingway, who divided them into three major subgroups: flowers that have no smell, women who know no love, and men who have no honor.

In spite of everything, however, MdAF remains one of the very rare diseases that causes joy, changes the way you view life, enhances feelings, and leaves you with a great sense of emptiness as soon as you board an airplane.

EXPOSURE TO THE DISEASE IS RECOMMENDED

TAGS: mal d'africalettorirubricasindrome

The emails from our readers with "Africa Sickness," which we group and publish every Wednesday in...

READ THE ARTICLE

MAL D'AFRIQUE

by redazione

NEWS

by redazione

by Freddie del Curatolo

Our space dedicated to readers who have decided or would like to move to Kenya, tell their experience and give their opinion continues. Today it is Ella's turn.

READ THE OPINION

The column dedicated to "Africa-sickness," that is, the jumble of feelings evoked by coming and going...

READ THE ARTICLE

Since the beginning of August, when we opened the campaign of requests for support for the work...

READ ALL THE ARTICLE

Four days to go!
From Tuesday, March 1, after a little less than two years, tourists pure and...

READ THE ARTICLE

A promotion of three months to live all the excitement of the savannah, from Malindi, Watamu and Mambrui.
The idea of ​​Malindikenya.net which is part of our initiatives to boost tourism, has found the happy Osteria Swara Camp partnership, which...

READ ALL

HIV-infected patients significantly decrease in Kenya, according to data submitted by the Ministry of Health.
Most importantly, the official percentages regarding the "natural" transmission of AIDS between mother and son.
 

READ ALL THE REVIEW

HELPING

by redazione

It has now been nine months, dear readers and supporters of Malindikenya.net, since...

READ ALL THE ARTICLE

Kenya, where wealth does not count and people trust only family members.
From a survey conducted by Twaweza and published by "The Voice of the People" in the Sunday edition of The Standard, it appears that 73% of the less-abundant, interviewed...

READ ALL THE REVIEW

by Leni Frau

The portal has been redesigned to be more functional for its readers, who after eight years are always many, daily.
From today Malindikenya.net has a simpler graphics, it's plain and in step with the times.
It 's more comfortable to browse, with...

READ ALL HERE